‘The girl of the sea’

A wave breaks onto Carmel River State Beach

Wind playing with her hair

Thoughts racing through his head

Sun hiding behind the clouds


He’s taking her hand

She drops three tears

Shadows take them in cold embrace


She’s changing her mind

He’s waiting with blank eyes

Crow breaks the silence


She’s breaking his promise

He’s breaking her heart

Sand covers their feet


She turns to kiss him

He tells her he would miss her

The voice says: ‘Sheer lies’


She knows it’s true

He pretends he hasn’t heard it

Lightning breaks the skies


She pushes him aside

He falls onto the rock

Sea caresses her skin


She jumps into the waves

He looks at her half consciously

All remains still in the darkness

About Magdalena

I'm a positive thinker, a dreamer, a poet, a dancer, a writer. I want to empower people and inspire them to follow their dreams and create their lives exactly the way they wish them to be :)

Posted on July 27, 2011, in Poems and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 60 Comments.

  1. woowww.. amazing..:-D i know this is weird but i wanna be the girl in the sea.. 🙂

  2. wow, scary and beautiful! 🙂

  3. vivid imagery, enjoyed the read.
    Happy Rally.

  4. Nice piece! Vivid images!

  5. beautifully written yet tragic… 🙂
    I like the last line!

  6. Beautiful. Women and the sea have always seemed to go good together. I like to think, when reading this, that she didn’t kill herself, but merely cast aside all things and submerged herself care free into the refreshing ocean. Either way, such a nice poem.

  7. Hello!

    Liked how you told this story and the staccato sound of the poem.

    Looking forward to reading more.


  8. Very well written, thanks for sharing. Have a lovely Thusday .Keep up the fantastic work! Visit me too. Greetings!

    • If you enjoy poetry. You should check out my blog and if you like it pass it along to your friends. This is my first blog and I am attempting to make it as a writer. Any constructive criticism is highly appreciated.

  9. Jaan Pehchaan

    This seemed like a series of Haiku woven together to form a longer poem! Beautiful. I was standing there in the sand and watching it happening!

  10. did they die together….you leaving a cliffhanger..

    my link: http://mypoetrywriting.blogspot.com/2011/07/tears-in-rain.html

  11. I like this. I like the structure – it teases you, so you want to know what’s coming.

    Well done – a really lovely read. x

  12. Very mesmerising. I enjoyed reading your poem 🙂

  13. Well … That was nice
    Totally amazing
    Nice imagination with a tragic ending ..
    Take a look on my Work ..
    and my very recent stuff …

    Happy Rally !!!

  14. This is beautiful! A true tragedy, but there is no better way to go in my opinion – with someone you love… Thanks for the read

  15. Wow dark and ambiguous! Lovely!

  16. This is beautifully written, dramatic and intense

  17. Lovely and sad. Just the way I like it.


  18. Interesting narrative.

  19. Wonderful writing. A vivid and fast moving drama painted with words. Nice!

  20. a nice shocking ending that was perfectly fabulous!


  21. So many well deserved praises. I like it.

  22. Really nice words with the imagery (:

  23. Mayank Mishra

    Completely enjoyed till the last word. 🙂

  24. Very nicely written. 🙂

  25. very strong indeed. I can feel this…Nice

  26. “Shadows take them in cold embrace” — beautifully written.

  27. This is intense… heartbreaking at the end. Beautifully written! 🙂

  28. Awesome writing .. loved it .. <3..

  29. Jaan Pehchaan

    The rhythmic nature of this is so beautiful! Melody in simple words!

  30. simple but attractive

  31. Interesting how the poem I submitter is too about her and him, here’s mine http://brokensparkles.wordpress.com/2011/07/31/musings/

  32. The crows part says it all makes it come alive, thank you, much appreciated, WS

  33. gravity shifter

    i like the dark theme of love lost.

  34. msgoldmanwords

    This is an amazing poem

  35. It kept me hooked the entire time. Hauntingly beautiful. Great job!

  36. Today we weave dreams
    Miscreant throw us time wreckage
    And delusions … she’s not injured and regrets
    Game and come back to the road to a public find solace
    I keep the whole strings of dawn
    Evening dreams
    I go back and remember how we met
    The dance track Orient
    And age is proceeding quietly
    and Sunrise
    Here’s something for existing
    I did not know what is .. Its limit?
    I see both ends of the day
    I see days when life
    Ah from the wound, which
    days .. Hands
    Ah hope that
    I still live in the echo
    And tomorrow .. Will reach its limit
    Flowers wither in the eyes
    And age you eat .. Years
    And tomorrow we’ll part on the same road
    and our tears arise .. And choked
    days lit up our path
    Hosting and tomorrow with the burn, just

  37. I like the simplicity of the poem!

    In South Africa we had a very talented poet (Ingrid Jonker 1933 – 1965) who wrote numerous poems in Afrikaans and she committed suicide by walking into the sea… This poem kind of reminds me of her…

  38. Love this…very fantastical and alluring…Well done!


  39. I like the power of the emotions and the movement of the images. Very effectively put together, with a strong stroke of finality, with its emotional after-image, in the end.

    Interestinghow she develops her responses into taking charge of the situation, and he ends up being the reactive one.

  40. sent shivers straight down my spine..

  41. TheLookoutDiary

    I really liked that poem. Poetry is deep 🙂
    I write poetry on my blog as well. You should check it out sometime. Latest one is called Present Time.

  42. I like it. Alot!! 🙂

  43. I looooove it:) any more please;)

  44. WOW … intense clip … cliffhanger in the end … more please!!

  45. the sea is patient, washing all our sins and pains away. I am moved.

  46. this is my favorite read of the day:) This is beautiful!

  47. Great work!

    The Poet

  48. Joseph.E.Rakowski

    Nice photo and poetry, glad to see someone doing the same thing!

  1. Pingback: I Imagine | Heartbeat – दिल की धड़कन

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