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‘Letter, no return’

Are you happy, my darling?

With the way things turned out to be

With the way our roads parted

And made us strangers in one heartbeat?

 

Didn’t you feel sorry at least for a second

That our lips never met

And our eyes were left longing

Forever in despair?

 

How are you feeling, my darling?

I would ask you if I ever had a chance

If our our paths crossed by mistake

In the fate’s mysterious plan

 

What can I do, my darling?

What could I say to you

If you ever asked me back those questions

And I were caught still somewhere on my way?

 

What can we do, my sweetest?

What can we ever plan?

Life is mysterious and vicious

And we get nothing in return

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‘Happiness’

We travel the world

We make plans

We hope

That if we achieve this and that

Our happiness will finally be a fact

 

We let ourselves be fooled

By the promises of everlasting beauty

By the temptation of easy money

And physical reveries fulfilled

With a touch of a magic wand

 

We surround ourselves with envy

With dreams of servants and palaces

We look down on people

Who go through life

With no such desires

 

The only thing we miss

In this picture of a perfect life

Is the happiness which lingers not

Somewhere in a faraway land

But the closest it could possibly be – deep inside our hearts

‘Water vs. Fire’

Water on Fire

Water

Such pure water

Warm and sincere

Sweet and charming

Harmony providing

With delicate touch

Caressing me dearly

I feel your love

I love the space you’re giving me

I was ready to let it go for you

But then…

 

Fire

Then came the fire

Flirtatious and breath-taking

Strong and sensual

Turning me on

Holding me forcefully

In his strong arms

I feel crazy about him

Don’t know if it’s love

I feel so insecure

Being with him

There’s no trust

I would give to him

But the attraction

Is so disruptive

But then…

 

Can I handle it?

Can I handle the choice?

Water so loving

Fire so tempting

But then…

 

Then water betrays me

And on fire I can suddenly count

Can I trust my judgement anymore?

What a strange disguise!

Water mixes with fire

Fire gets distinguished

Confusion!

Grand confusion

– That’s what is left

Help me in this anxious state

Help me before I drown!

‘Storm’

Storm

When a thunder broke the sunny day in half,

I was dreaming with my eyes fixed on the empty sky.

Oh, was it empty when I’ve fallen asleep,

Now dark carpet covered it.

The anxiety came with the colour of deep blue,

My dreams clouded with nightmarish glow,

The depth of the soul uncovered sharply,

Found myself begging for mercy of the black king

‘Oh Lord, bring back the sweetness of a thought!’

My dream – a nightmare,

Emptiness filled with pain

Of a heart longing for answers,

For questions not to remain.

Suddenly the wind blew taking a page away.

The page of the book of life danced its way to the grave.

In the muddy puddle the words were lost,

Never to be rediscovered,

Never to be written again.

‘Oh, dear Lord, is that what I was heading for?’

Still no secrets uncovered,

I’m standing in the middle of a storm.

‘New Day’ – Part 3/3

Ann heard about John’s departure through a mutual friend. Kelly knew about her best friend’s obsession for the man and she hoped that it will end with these news.

“Hardly anyone comes back from war these days. I’m sorry to say this but it’s all lost,” she expressed her opinion with great compassion. “You should find yourself some nice guy who will really deserve you. Don’t you remember that he didn’t even want to go out with you?”

But Ann didn’t listen. Deep in her heart she knew that her feelings were true. She remembered the pain she saw in John’s eyes when he rejected her proposal. There must be some explanation why he did this! She felt confused, powerless, almost angry. She decided to do one last thing to save this love.  She went home, sat down and wrote one short letter:

“Dear John,

Please meet me before you go. I know you said you didn’t want to, but I just want to tell you something important. It won’t take more than 5 minutes and then we’ll both go our separate ways.

Love,

Ann”

Ann’s mother looked at her little girl. She wasn’t so little any more but still so naïve. Her heart was breaking when she thought of how her daughter was suffering, but she didn’t have the courage to tell her what she had heard in the neighbourhood. The people were saying that the man, her daughter was apparently waiting for to show up, had already left few hours earlier. She wasn’t sure whether Ann was aware of that or not, but the persistence with which she was gazing at that window suggested that she certainly didn’t believe that to be true.

John had been lying in the dust for a few hours now. His lips were dry and he knew that the death was coming to take him. Was it the end he dreamed of for himself? He couldn’t really answer that but he felt that he didn’t do everything he should have in his short life. Suddenly, a silhouette appeared in the distance, brutally pulling him out of his thoughts. Maybe there was still a chance? He struggled to lift his hand and let out a silent cry for help. The silhouette seemed to grow bigger and bigger in his eyes. In a moment, he saw two small feet right next to his mouth and the person kneeled down showing her face. The shock mixed with anxiety and ecstasy. He felt as if something stroke his heart.

“Is this….,” his last words poured out of his mouth as his soul drifted out of his tortured body.

Ann felt a sudden strike in her heart. She looked at the orange sky. Snow was falling, whiter and more beautiful than ever.

“Well,” she announced, finally turning away from the window with a half-smile. “I guess tomorrow is a new day.”

‘I’ve had my lesson’

Faking it

I’ve been living for today

I’ve been living for tomorrow

You promised that if I make you stay

You won’t let me down in sorrow

 

I’ve been scheming all day long

I’ve even wished on a star

You’ve read all the signs wrong

And without a glance started the car

 

Now I’m living for today

I’m not living for tomorrow

With guys’ fake promises play

And cold hearts never borrow

‘Stripped of all my pride’

Stripped of all my pride

Bright pink/purple flower shot with lensbaby muse

I humbly gaze down

To see what caused my pain

.

Stripped of all my pride

I don’t know why

In your arms I melted away

.

Stripped of all my pride

I’ve gone too far

And I’ve got nowhere left to stay

.

Stripped of all my pride

I’ve given you too much

And so you walked away

.

Stripped of all my pride

I’m giving up

Because I can never win this game

.

Stripped of all my pride

I turn to write

And cry my troubles away

‘Wicked weather for a hurt heart’

Tempting tempests

Stylish storms

With wicked weather

I dance at dawn

At tricky twilights

And twee ones too

I spin and spill

My words onto winding vines

As my mind makes a missile of thoughts

And my hurt heart hurries like a hurricane