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‘Goodbye’

It’s time to leaveLausanne

Even though my heart will cry

It’s time to leave

It’s time to say goodbye

 

Nothing lasts forever

No matter how hard it sounds

No matter how much we would like to

We can’t change the way things are

 

It’s time to leave

Even though I love the place

Even though I’m sure that here I do belong

And my  heart will stay here forever

 

It’s time to leave

I’m leaving here my heart

I’m leaving here my soul

And my peace of mind

 

It’s time to leave

All I have is a hopeful thought

And a dream of coming back

One joyful day

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‘Letter, no return’

Are you happy, my darling?

With the way things turned out to be

With the way our roads parted

And made us strangers in one heartbeat?

 

Didn’t you feel sorry at least for a second

That our lips never met

And our eyes were left longing

Forever in despair?

 

How are you feeling, my darling?

I would ask you if I ever had a chance

If our our paths crossed by mistake

In the fate’s mysterious plan

 

What can I do, my darling?

What could I say to you

If you ever asked me back those questions

And I were caught still somewhere on my way?

 

What can we do, my sweetest?

What can we ever plan?

Life is mysterious and vicious

And we get nothing in return

‘Was it a dream?’

Was it a dream?

The beauty, the mountains, the lake

Was it a dream?

Constant happiness, joy, no stress

Was it a dream?

Dark brown eyes looking so sweetly into mine

Was it a dream?

But then above the clouds I fly…

 

Can we ever keep a dream

Or will it always die

And make us search once again

Not knowing for what and why?

Lausanne

‘The Awakening’

In the middle of the night so dark

The snow started falling from the sky

The sky was the colour of black coal

I woke up thinking whether I wanted him to know

 

I looked out the window into the depths of the world

The brilliance of the shapes deeply touched my soul

And I thought how beautiful and simple life could be

If one was born a star or a snowflake shaped so mysteriously

 

The night would have been a dark blanket of life

The world – indifferent in view of such short existance

Then why is it so, I sadly asked my thoughts

That I can’t choose the life I want so badly?

 

The night brightened as if in response

A tear froze on my cheek awaiting

For the day that was about to creep into my solitude

Gray, yet no longer black in its nature

‘New Day’ – Part 3/3

Ann heard about John’s departure through a mutual friend. Kelly knew about her best friend’s obsession for the man and she hoped that it will end with these news.

“Hardly anyone comes back from war these days. I’m sorry to say this but it’s all lost,” she expressed her opinion with great compassion. “You should find yourself some nice guy who will really deserve you. Don’t you remember that he didn’t even want to go out with you?”

But Ann didn’t listen. Deep in her heart she knew that her feelings were true. She remembered the pain she saw in John’s eyes when he rejected her proposal. There must be some explanation why he did this! She felt confused, powerless, almost angry. She decided to do one last thing to save this love.  She went home, sat down and wrote one short letter:

“Dear John,

Please meet me before you go. I know you said you didn’t want to, but I just want to tell you something important. It won’t take more than 5 minutes and then we’ll both go our separate ways.

Love,

Ann”

Ann’s mother looked at her little girl. She wasn’t so little any more but still so naïve. Her heart was breaking when she thought of how her daughter was suffering, but she didn’t have the courage to tell her what she had heard in the neighbourhood. The people were saying that the man, her daughter was apparently waiting for to show up, had already left few hours earlier. She wasn’t sure whether Ann was aware of that or not, but the persistence with which she was gazing at that window suggested that she certainly didn’t believe that to be true.

John had been lying in the dust for a few hours now. His lips were dry and he knew that the death was coming to take him. Was it the end he dreamed of for himself? He couldn’t really answer that but he felt that he didn’t do everything he should have in his short life. Suddenly, a silhouette appeared in the distance, brutally pulling him out of his thoughts. Maybe there was still a chance? He struggled to lift his hand and let out a silent cry for help. The silhouette seemed to grow bigger and bigger in his eyes. In a moment, he saw two small feet right next to his mouth and the person kneeled down showing her face. The shock mixed with anxiety and ecstasy. He felt as if something stroke his heart.

“Is this….,” his last words poured out of his mouth as his soul drifted out of his tortured body.

Ann felt a sudden strike in her heart. She looked at the orange sky. Snow was falling, whiter and more beautiful than ever.

“Well,” she announced, finally turning away from the window with a half-smile. “I guess tomorrow is a new day.”

‘New Day’ – Part 2/3

Ann and John met four years before. It was the last dance of the summer 1979 in the town. John was hanging around with his friends, drinking and having fun when in the crowd he noticed a small delicate girl, dressed in a light pink dress with her hair dissolved mischievously. Their eyes met making both of them turn away and blush with embarrassment. It was only when the darkness of the night surrounded the world and most of the youth were already sleeping or sitting somewhere aside, that young man got himself to approach the beautiful stranger and ask her for a dance. Colourful disco lights danced on their faces, when they moved closer to each other in perfect harmony. They may have just met, but their bodies and souls seemed to have known each other for ages. They communicated with no words spoken, breathing in the smell of each other’s skin, listening to the beat of each other’s heart. Suddenly, the clock stroke 4 am breaking the moment mercilessly. John gazed into the girl’s eyes for the last time.

Rhythm, a sequence in time repeated, featured ...

“What’s your name?,” he whispered the question into her ear.

“It’s Ann,” she whispered back with a trembling voice.

“I’m John,” he said, shaking her hand. “I should go now.”

“Wait! Shall I walk with you?”

“It won’t be necessary.”

The year passed and they didn’t see each other. Ann had almost forgotten about the encounter. She was growing up to become a proud young woman. Then, the summer came once again and they met on the dance for the second time. It was just like the first one. When they approached each other, the whole world around them seemed to disappear; they melted in each other’s arms with the strange feeling of fulfilment. With the coming of the dawn, John disappeared mysteriously, not to be seen by Ann for another year.

The fourth summer John and Ann were both grown-ups with dark experiences shadowing their personalities and souls. They were no longer innocent and their hearts were bruised by past heartbreaks. They talked more and cherished every moment spent together on this one last night. As the first sunbeams began to appear behind the window, Ann knew that the moment of goodbye she always hated was looming. Cautiously, she decided to pop the question she wanted to ask for so long:

“Listen, John. Would you like to go out with me some time?”

“You know, it’s not a good idea. I’m just not ready for any kind of commitment.”, he muttered shyly. “I really hope you understand.”

That was the answer she hadn’t expected. She turned away and whispered, “You should go now…”

As he was leaving, John glanced back one last time at Ann and felt one hot tear running down his cheek. He didn’t know whether it was the right decision any more. What he felt for that girl was something different, strong and passionate. However, he was so scared, he didn’t recognize himself with her. And still, the pain of the last heartbreak remained in his memory like a warning not to commit himself with a woman ever again. It was then that he decided to go to war. It was the only place where the atmosphere would be tight enough to let him forget about Ann.

‘New Day’ – Part 1/3

When the sound of explosives broke the silence, John was hiding behind the trench. His vision was blurred with the dust which seemed to float lazily in the air. The pressure of the explosion threw his strong manly body onto the ground as if it was no heavier than a rag-doll. He made one last attempt to stand up, but his injured body fell back instantly. He felt worn-out, exhausted and hopeless.

C. D. Friedrich - Woman at a window

A beautiful girl was sitting on a window sill. Her blond curly hair reflected the cold winter sunbeam with a shimmering glow. With her hazel eyes she peered through the window with great determination. It was clear that she was waiting for something.

“Ann, why don’t you come and eat dinner with us?,” asked her mother with a concerned look. “Come on! Sitting there won’t change anything for now…”

Ann made no response. Her mind was apparently as distant as her gaze. Her thoughts were running miles to reach the place where her love was fulfilling his patriotic duty. Her love… In her mind she knew John was the only true love she’d ever had, but the problem was she never had a chance to tell or show him that.

‘Stripped of all my pride’

Stripped of all my pride

Bright pink/purple flower shot with lensbaby muse

I humbly gaze down

To see what caused my pain

.

Stripped of all my pride

I don’t know why

In your arms I melted away

.

Stripped of all my pride

I’ve gone too far

And I’ve got nowhere left to stay

.

Stripped of all my pride

I’ve given you too much

And so you walked away

.

Stripped of all my pride

I’m giving up

Because I can never win this game

.

Stripped of all my pride

I turn to write

And cry my troubles away

‘Unnecessary feelings’

Longing for peace

Longing for hope

Longing for truth

Longing for love

Why not stop it?

Why not forget

The feeling there’s something you want to get?

Better move on

Better accept

Your fate as it is

On this unfair world

Then maybe you’ll succeed

In realizing your dreams

Life is full of surprises

Be ready for this!