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‘The Song’

A while ago someone made a proposition to me to write a song together. Neither of us has ever seen the other one’s part… Today, sitting miles away from the place where we’ve met, I’m sharing my bitter-sweet part of the song bearing in mind the beautiful memories of that time.

If I ever had known

I wouldn’t tell you

If I wanted to stay

I wouldn’t tell you

If I needed your help

I wouldn’t tell you

If you were even alone

I wouldn’t tell you

 

What’s the point?

We’re alone

In every moment

Life is lonely

And no

Answers were ever coming

If you want anything

You keep on going

With the last scream for help

We’re both fading slowly

 

1:34

I was never really taught

To breathe solely

Who could ever have known?

We all fade promptly

Point of life is unknown

No one is saying sorry

How am I to follow?

Again, I’ve blown it

 

What’s the point (…)

 

**Written to this music:

 

 

‘New Day’ – Part 3/3

Ann heard about John’s departure through a mutual friend. Kelly knew about her best friend’s obsession for the man and she hoped that it will end with these news.

“Hardly anyone comes back from war these days. I’m sorry to say this but it’s all lost,” she expressed her opinion with great compassion. “You should find yourself some nice guy who will really deserve you. Don’t you remember that he didn’t even want to go out with you?”

But Ann didn’t listen. Deep in her heart she knew that her feelings were true. She remembered the pain she saw in John’s eyes when he rejected her proposal. There must be some explanation why he did this! She felt confused, powerless, almost angry. She decided to do one last thing to save this love.  She went home, sat down and wrote one short letter:

“Dear John,

Please meet me before you go. I know you said you didn’t want to, but I just want to tell you something important. It won’t take more than 5 minutes and then we’ll both go our separate ways.

Love,

Ann”

Ann’s mother looked at her little girl. She wasn’t so little any more but still so naïve. Her heart was breaking when she thought of how her daughter was suffering, but she didn’t have the courage to tell her what she had heard in the neighbourhood. The people were saying that the man, her daughter was apparently waiting for to show up, had already left few hours earlier. She wasn’t sure whether Ann was aware of that or not, but the persistence with which she was gazing at that window suggested that she certainly didn’t believe that to be true.

John had been lying in the dust for a few hours now. His lips were dry and he knew that the death was coming to take him. Was it the end he dreamed of for himself? He couldn’t really answer that but he felt that he didn’t do everything he should have in his short life. Suddenly, a silhouette appeared in the distance, brutally pulling him out of his thoughts. Maybe there was still a chance? He struggled to lift his hand and let out a silent cry for help. The silhouette seemed to grow bigger and bigger in his eyes. In a moment, he saw two small feet right next to his mouth and the person kneeled down showing her face. The shock mixed with anxiety and ecstasy. He felt as if something stroke his heart.

“Is this….,” his last words poured out of his mouth as his soul drifted out of his tortured body.

Ann felt a sudden strike in her heart. She looked at the orange sky. Snow was falling, whiter and more beautiful than ever.

“Well,” she announced, finally turning away from the window with a half-smile. “I guess tomorrow is a new day.”

‘New Day’ – Part 2/3

Ann and John met four years before. It was the last dance of the summer 1979 in the town. John was hanging around with his friends, drinking and having fun when in the crowd he noticed a small delicate girl, dressed in a light pink dress with her hair dissolved mischievously. Their eyes met making both of them turn away and blush with embarrassment. It was only when the darkness of the night surrounded the world and most of the youth were already sleeping or sitting somewhere aside, that young man got himself to approach the beautiful stranger and ask her for a dance. Colourful disco lights danced on their faces, when they moved closer to each other in perfect harmony. They may have just met, but their bodies and souls seemed to have known each other for ages. They communicated with no words spoken, breathing in the smell of each other’s skin, listening to the beat of each other’s heart. Suddenly, the clock stroke 4 am breaking the moment mercilessly. John gazed into the girl’s eyes for the last time.

Rhythm, a sequence in time repeated, featured ...

“What’s your name?,” he whispered the question into her ear.

“It’s Ann,” she whispered back with a trembling voice.

“I’m John,” he said, shaking her hand. “I should go now.”

“Wait! Shall I walk with you?”

“It won’t be necessary.”

The year passed and they didn’t see each other. Ann had almost forgotten about the encounter. She was growing up to become a proud young woman. Then, the summer came once again and they met on the dance for the second time. It was just like the first one. When they approached each other, the whole world around them seemed to disappear; they melted in each other’s arms with the strange feeling of fulfilment. With the coming of the dawn, John disappeared mysteriously, not to be seen by Ann for another year.

The fourth summer John and Ann were both grown-ups with dark experiences shadowing their personalities and souls. They were no longer innocent and their hearts were bruised by past heartbreaks. They talked more and cherished every moment spent together on this one last night. As the first sunbeams began to appear behind the window, Ann knew that the moment of goodbye she always hated was looming. Cautiously, she decided to pop the question she wanted to ask for so long:

“Listen, John. Would you like to go out with me some time?”

“You know, it’s not a good idea. I’m just not ready for any kind of commitment.”, he muttered shyly. “I really hope you understand.”

That was the answer she hadn’t expected. She turned away and whispered, “You should go now…”

As he was leaving, John glanced back one last time at Ann and felt one hot tear running down his cheek. He didn’t know whether it was the right decision any more. What he felt for that girl was something different, strong and passionate. However, he was so scared, he didn’t recognize himself with her. And still, the pain of the last heartbreak remained in his memory like a warning not to commit himself with a woman ever again. It was then that he decided to go to war. It was the only place where the atmosphere would be tight enough to let him forget about Ann.

‘New Day’ – Part 1/3

When the sound of explosives broke the silence, John was hiding behind the trench. His vision was blurred with the dust which seemed to float lazily in the air. The pressure of the explosion threw his strong manly body onto the ground as if it was no heavier than a rag-doll. He made one last attempt to stand up, but his injured body fell back instantly. He felt worn-out, exhausted and hopeless.

C. D. Friedrich - Woman at a window

A beautiful girl was sitting on a window sill. Her blond curly hair reflected the cold winter sunbeam with a shimmering glow. With her hazel eyes she peered through the window with great determination. It was clear that she was waiting for something.

“Ann, why don’t you come and eat dinner with us?,” asked her mother with a concerned look. “Come on! Sitting there won’t change anything for now…”

Ann made no response. Her mind was apparently as distant as her gaze. Her thoughts were running miles to reach the place where her love was fulfilling his patriotic duty. Her love… In her mind she knew John was the only true love she’d ever had, but the problem was she never had a chance to tell or show him that.

‘In Search For More’

Original caption from NASA: "S103-E-5037 ...

Leaving the world with a smile on his face

Flew the spirit on the chilly winter’s embrace

‘Goodbye my tricky life

Go on with your unexpected dive

The space is waiting with its mysteries

So many roads to choose with no limits’

He knew the sweetness of blossoming trees,

The kisses of love, the pleasure he would miss

But the joys of the Earth were not enough

He wanted so much more to discover on his path

What he did – a lunacy, that’s what they called it

A mourning crowd was an illusion in not that little bit

The emptiness he did not feel anymore

When he realised he had it all in his hands, his proper lore

He left his cat, the rain and depressing fall

And then he announced, ‘’tis my final call’

‘Mysterious Magician’

witch

I’m a wizard of the silent hills

I sing to the moon on the grassy slopes

I whisper spells to lizards and snakes

I point at the sky with my wand and watch weather change

 

I’m a fairy

I help broken hearted

With my glimmering fingers I embrace memories

And with my winged folks joyfully dance

 

I’m a witch

I cast spells to destroy your days

I talk to thunders and blow away leaves

I love my cats and with mice them feed

 

I’m a dreamer

At night I sleep

By day I weep

When I wake from slumber

And open my eyes

I rage at the skies

And call for handsome knights

I become a princess of my own reverie

And then you may finally see

Who I could really be

‘The girl of the sea’

A wave breaks onto Carmel River State Beach

Wind playing with her hair

Thoughts racing through his head

Sun hiding behind the clouds

 

He’s taking her hand

She drops three tears

Shadows take them in cold embrace

 

She’s changing her mind

He’s waiting with blank eyes

Crow breaks the silence

 

She’s breaking his promise

He’s breaking her heart

Sand covers their feet

 

She turns to kiss him

He tells her he would miss her

The voice says: ‘Sheer lies’

 

She knows it’s true

He pretends he hasn’t heard it

Lightning breaks the skies

 

She pushes him aside

He falls onto the rock

Sea caresses her skin

 

She jumps into the waves

He looks at her half consciously

All remains still in the darkness

‘The unconscious mind’ – Part 10

They ran as fast as they could, but it was already too late. When they reached the end of the corridor from which the terrible noise came, they were hit by the stream of refreshing air, but neither their colleague nor the runaway were to be found. What’s more, there didn’t seem to be any way out. As they scanned the wall for hidden clues, they already knew one thing for sure. No matter what happened, no matter where he was now, their young, ambitious friend wasn’t coming back. Ever.

‘Muses come instead of sleep’

Fairy – "Take the Fair Face of Woman"...

Yesterday I was hoping for some sleep

But the muse came and took the lead.

She took me to the land of ambrosia,

Of milk and honey, sweet scents.

She filled my mind with reveries

Instead of thoughts of the day.

She took my hand with gentle grasp

And gave me a pen decorated with wild feathers.

Then one plume fell onto the ground,

The flower of fern grew on the floor

And despite the calmness of the weather

I couldn’t fall asleep any more.

‘The unconscious mind’ – Part 9

As the baton flew through the air to hit Yuriy, several unexpected things happened at once. One of the bricks moved inward, reacting to the touch of his fingers, the floor collapsed under the two men, the baton fell from the warder’s hand and hit Yuriy lightly, making him unconscious and the two of them fell into the flowing river. The stream took them to the waterfall which threw its victims, making them drop hardly onto rocks. If anybody had stood there in that time, he would have thought that the two dead bodies covered with blood were lying there. It was impossible for a human being to survive the forceful fall from 400 meters. In fact, however, there was only one corpse in there…