‘The girl of the sea’
Wind playing with her hair
Thoughts racing through his head
Sun hiding behind the clouds
He’s taking her hand
She drops three tears
Shadows take them in cold embrace
She’s changing her mind
He’s waiting with blank eyes
Crow breaks the silence
She’s breaking his promise
He’s breaking her heart
Sand covers their feet
She turns to kiss him
He tells her he would miss her
The voice says: ‘Sheer lies’
She knows it’s true
He pretends he hasn’t heard it
Lightning breaks the skies
She pushes him aside
He falls onto the rock
Sea caresses her skin
She jumps into the waves
He looks at her half consciously
All remains still in the darkness
Posted on July 27, 2011, in Poems and tagged anxiety, beauty, love, mystery, poem, Poems, poetry, sea, storm, Story, Suicide. Bookmark the permalink. 60 Comments.
The Chamber of Stories 
woowww.. amazing..:-D i know this is weird but i wanna be the girl in the sea.. š
Haunting …
wow, scary and beautiful! š
vivid imagery, enjoyed the read.
Happy Rally.
Nice piece! Vivid images!
beautifully written yet tragic… š
I like the last line!
Haunting and engrossing.
Beautiful. Women and the sea have always seemed to go good together. I like to think, when reading this, that she didn’t kill herself, but merely cast aside all things and submerged herself care free into the refreshing ocean. Either way, such a nice poem.
Hello!
Liked how you told this story and the staccato sound of the poem.
Looking forward to reading more.
Cheers
Padmavani
Very well written, thanks for sharing. Have a lovely Thusday .Keep up the fantastic work! Visit me too. Greetings!
If you enjoy poetry. You should check out my blog and if you like it pass it along to your friends. This is my first blog and I am attempting to make it as a writer. Any constructive criticism is highly appreciated.
This seemed like a series of Haiku woven together to form a longer poem! Beautiful. I was standing there in the sand and watching it happening!
did they die together….you leaving a cliffhanger..
my link: http://mypoetrywriting.blogspot.com/2011/07/tears-in-rain.html
I like this. I like the structure – it teases you, so you want to know what’s coming.
Well done – a really lovely read. x
Very mesmerising. I enjoyed reading your poem š
Well … That was nice
Totally amazing
Nice imagination with a tragic ending ..
Take a look on my Work ..
http://ashbeezone.wordpress.com/category/talent-underground/poetry-zone/
and my very recent stuff …
Happy Rally !!!
This is beautiful! A true tragedy, but there is no better way to go in my opinion – with someone you love… Thanks for the read
Wow dark and ambiguous! Lovely!
This is beautifully written, dramatic and intense
Lovely and sad. Just the way I like it.
Melanie
Interesting narrative.
Wonderful writing. A vivid and fast moving drama painted with words. Nice!
a nice shocking ending that was perfectly fabulous!
Luna
So many well deserved praises. I like it.
Really nice words with the imagery (:
Completely enjoyed till the last word. š
Very nicely written. š
very strong indeed. I can feel this…Nice
“Shadows take them in cold embrace” — beautifully written.
This is intense… heartbreaking at the end. Beautifully written! š
Awesome writing .. loved it .. <3..
The rhythmic nature of this is so beautiful! Melody in simple words!
simple but attractive
Interesting how the poem I submitter is too about her and him, here’s mine http://brokensparkles.wordpress.com/2011/07/31/musings/
The crows part says it all makes it come alive, thank you, much appreciated, WS
i like the dark theme of love lost.
This is an amazing poem
WOW
http://bttrflyscar.blogspot.com/2011/08/travel-extended-haiku.html
It kept me hooked the entire time. Hauntingly beautiful. Great job!
beautifully written!
Today we weave dreams
Miscreant throw us time wreckage
And delusions … she’s not injured and regrets
Game and come back to the road to a public find solace
I keep the whole strings of dawn
Evening dreams
I go back and remember how we met
The dance track Orient
And age is proceeding quietly
and Sunrise
Here’s something for existing
I did not know what is .. Its limit?
I see both ends of the day
I see days when life
Ah from the wound, which
days .. Hands
Ah hope that
I still live in the echo
And tomorrow .. Will reach its limit
Flowers wither in the eyes
And age you eat .. Years
And tomorrow we’ll part on the same road
and our tears arise .. And choked
days lit up our path
Hosting and tomorrow with the burn, just
That was wonderful! Adds some more depth to the unsaid in my poem… Thank you!
I like the simplicity of the poem!
In South Africa we had a very talented poet (Ingrid Jonker 1933 – 1965) who wrote numerous poems in Afrikaans and she committed suicide by walking into the sea… This poem kind of reminds me of her…
Thanks! That’s interesting… On my way to google some more about her! š
Love this…very fantastical and alluring…Well done!
S.
I like the power of the emotions and the movement of the images. Very effectively put together, with a strong stroke of finality, with its emotional after-image, in the end.
Interestinghow she develops her responses into taking charge of the situation, and he ends up being the reactive one.
sent shivers straight down my spine..
Good one..
I really liked that poem. Poetry is deep š
I write poetry on my blog as well. You should check it out sometime. Latest one is called Present Time.
Thank you! š I would love to take a look at your blog. Can you give me the link, cause I can’t find it?
I like it. Alot!! š
I looooove it:) any more please;)
Love Lady Lost…
WOW … intense clip … cliffhanger in the end … more please!!
the sea is patient, washing all our sins and pains away. I am moved.
this is my favorite read of the day:) This is beautiful!
Great work!
The Poet
Love It
Nice photo and poetry, glad to see someone doing the same thing!
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